Monday, May 7, 2012

Lip Balm Review: Eco Lips Vegan Lip Balm

I've used many lip balms over the years. Growing up, I used the petro-chemical based ones. After learning that petroleum derived products are used in many beauty products, I switched to petro-free types, but the balms made with bees wax just dried out my lips even further. A few years ago we got Eco Lips Bee Free Vegan Lip Balm in our goodie back at the COK (Compassion over Killing) holiday party. It was the best lip balm I'd ever used. Also, really expensive (for a cheap bastard such as me). So I've continued to try to find another cheaper vegan lip balm that didn't have nasty perfumey smells to it, but I just keep coming back to Eco-Lips. I've tried Eco-Lips own cheaper non-vegan lip balm, which is not good at all. The bee-free lip balm is so amazing, if you find a better cheaper lip balm, (which is unlikely but if you do), let me know. I encourage everyone who needs a lip balm to try it once. Especially since more demand for their product could result in mass production cost savings, and lower lip balm prices, making this cheap bastard very happy.

Friday, May 4, 2012

The difference between buying a bag of pretzels and buying a tampon from a vending machine

Buying Pretzels:
You can see whether or not there are bags of pretzels available before putting your money in the machine. You put in your money, and 9 times out of 10, you get pretzels. Excellent, now you have a quarter to go buy a tampon, and pretzels you didn't really want.

Buying a Tampon:
You have no idea whether or not there will be any tampons or pads available for purchase because the metal box is entirely opaque. You just have to put your quarter in and hope for the best. 9 times out of 10, you get nothing. You jiggle the handle, pull at the sides of the box, and jam your hand up into the machine. Your hand is stuck. This looks bad. Okay, hand is free again, time for the reinforcements. You jam a pen, ruler, plastic knife, whatever longish item you have at your disposal smaller than your hand, stab at whatever is up in the machine, hoping for the best. More prying at the side of the box, and if you're lucky, its not locked top and bottom and you can reach in and mess with some levers. Still no luck. More jabbing with your makeshift tampon stealing tools, leaning over, sad staring into the machine, etc. If you're me, it takes you a long time to give up because you put your quarter in and you WILL CLAIM VICTORY over the machine. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes you end up sitting on a preposterous quantity of toilet paper stuffed into your underwear.